Focus on The Family – “Moments for Ministry Wives”

An Interview with Denalyn Lucado by Sheryl Giesbrecht

During the holidays most pastor’s wives expect a busier schedule than usual. Evening celebrations, Christmas parties, school programs and other seasonal events out number the nights we have at home, yet we manage to meet the daily needs of our families, after all it’s only temporary. Add in other holiday demands and stresses…last minute shopping trips, present wrapping marathons, lack of holiday finances, sleepless nights may come more frequently than we would like.

A particular fall nearly 8 years ago was a turning point for Denalyn Lucado. The holiday season started out fairly normal but began to be complicated by busyness and lack of sleep. Stress and high anxiety mounted, climaxing with the untimely death of a young mother in the church. These ingredients were a dangerous mix for Denalyn’s emotional health and spiritual well being. Long gone were the carefree days of early marriage and ministry, when Denalyn and husband Max Lucado served as missionaries in Brazil. ”When the black cloud descended, my joy was gone,” Denalyn recalls.

Buried under an incredible weight of spiritual doubt and emotional depression, Denalyn called out to God for help. “God didn’t say we would always feel Him, but when we don’t, we have to claim His promises, ”Denalyn remembers, “I wasn’t able to do that on my own.” Denalyn was diagnosed with a case of severe depression. However, Denalyn’s condition wasn’t treated solely by medical intervention. There was an intense spiritual battle raging in her mind and soul. “There were 12 – 15 girls praying for me,” Denalyn says, “they spoke the truth.” Denalyn remembers wading through difficult times of darkness and doubting as early as age 16. Now on the other side of her darkest days of depression, she fully realizes the gift of healing God has given her as she recognizes His severe mercy in an even deeper way. She is willing to share her story with others, that they too, may renew their hope and restore their joy.

Denalyn’s openness to share her personal story is refreshing. High anxiety, depression and doubt are common among pastor’s wives, especially around the holidays, yet rarely discussed openly. “The Lord has taught me to be transparent. To confess my sins to others and be healed. I’m not afraid of depression any more.” Denalyn remembers, “ I’d had bouts before, but fear kept me from facing myself. Anxiety and fearful thoughts are God’s thermometer for me now.”

Once fearful and anxious, dreading the holiday season, Denalyn has renewed hope and grace to handle holiday stress, looks forward to enjoying each Christmas with Max and their three girls. Denalyn says, “My Martha struggle is a year round struggle, accentuated at Christmas time. I make it a priority to spend quality time with Him.” Denalyn maximizes her time in prayer and fellowship at the feet of Jesus, as did Mary. “When I sit down with Him, He knows I need His presence. I am so aware of His presence, I am amazed.” Says Denalyn. “ It is so sweet and kind of Him to reveal Himself to me this way.”

Because making Christmas meaningful for their family of five is Denalyn’s top priority, she intentionally revolves the Christmas plans and family traditions around God’s greatest gift to the world, Jesus. Like most of us, many good activities vie for Denalyn’s time and attention at Christmas, yet Denalyn’s desire is that each activity her family participates in whether it be a school Christmas play or inviting the Oak Hills Church of Christ staff over for dinner, that Jesus be glorified. “In life and especially around the holidays, we are all looking for that perfect place when our schedules are stress-free,” shares Denalyn, “The Lord allows bumps and turns along the way so we find our rest in Him, our security in Him and not in our schedules, our jobs, our position in life.” In Him, peace is possible and available in the pulpit, pew and parsonage, especially at Christmas. As Jesus has made Himself real to Denalyn Lucado, may He reveal Himself to all of us as the true Prince of Peace. Denalyn reminds us, “Especially at Christmas, take each day as it comes, rest in today, be thankful for today and be joyful in what counts.”

SIDE BAR - At Christmas, Denalyn recommends a few additional tips to surviving the holidays:

1. Pray your way through the holiday season, that God would receive glory through our puny efforts to serve Him.
2. Pray, Pray and Pray more. Remember who you are and what you are here for: a sinner saved by grace.
3. Nurture your own personal relationship with Christ. He will give you strength, courage and hope.
4. Let Christ love your husband and your children the way they need to be loved.
5. Gather your church staff and their families at your home for Christmas fellowship and food. Make it a tradition.
6. Choose a family in need, give them gifts and food in Jesus’ name. Establish a heart of gratitude and giving in your children. (Angel Tree)
7. Attend Christmas Eve service at church with your family. Make it a tradition.
8. Go a little wild with gift giving. Experience the extravagance of His gift giving.

An Interview with Jill Briscoe by Sheryl Giesbrecht

As a college student at Cambridge University in Great Britain, circumstances forced Jill Ryder to examine her personal life. Jill, overwhelmed with age-appropriate choices, found herself at an intersection of belief. "For me, part of the process of coming to Christ was someone took time to answer my questions," Jill continues, "I was blessed to have been brought to Christ, by a woman who committed herself to discipleship." These circumstances surrounding Jill's conversion have shaped her personal definition of the call of God, her opinions of role of the pastor's wife and attitudes toward ministry.

""When I'm asked - 'When did you get your call?', I just say 'I got saved.' I believe the role of the pastor's wife is absolutely essential." Jill smiles, "She is a partner to the point-man, with the primary calling being discipleship and service to the Lord Jesus Christ. " For over 30 years, Jill Briscoe has been the wife of Stuart Biscoe, senior pastor of Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wisconsin. "What a privilege to be married to a man who is called and to be a woman who is also called. I find myself surrendering to Jesus all over again, to partner with my husband to get the job done." Jill's focus is discipleship, especially to pastors' and missionary wives. "I love to help women define what their call is - primary calling is discipleship. I ask them,' what did you do before you married the pastor?' I help them understand that tasks are their secondary calling, good works are busy work which often keep us from staying with our priorities."

Now 67 years old, Jill still says, "I make daily choices, often difficult, physical choices. I want to be a child of God in the center of the will of God." Jill learned this early on in her marriage to Stuart, then an evangelist. For twelve years, Stuart traveled for extensively. At home, raising three children, Jill struggled with many feelings, "God allowed my pain, anger, resentment to drive me into Him." From those times, Jill has developed strong devotional disciplines and continues to share them with ministry wives, "Don't waste the pain," Jill says, "The question is 'Will you die?' - It's the big personal pronoun, the ' I' - crossed out - we must die to let Jesus live through us."
Jill did not waste the pain or the time God gave her, as she began meeting needs of teenagers. While Stuart was evangelizing cities around the world, Jill began to open her home and heart to evangelize her neighborhood. Jill says, "If my husband would have been home, I would have been focusing on his needs. Instead, God showed me how to better use the time while he was away." From these beginnings of ministry across her street, Jill is now a sought-after speaker around the world. "Wherever we are in the world is our mission field. Pass on your faith to those in your orbit," says Jill, "If you are a mom at home, this starts with your own children." About Jill's ministry, Stuart Briscoe says, "The difficulty of the pastorate is the pastor thinks he is profoundly significant, and the pastor's wife is in a supporting role. At times I need to step back and give Jill the opportunity to minister. It is my deep conviction that Jill is someone God has created uniquely, specifically, intentionally, with eternal significance. I need to encourage her to fulfill her kingdom responsibilities. She does this in ways no one else can. As her husband, I am interested in what she is doing and how God is using her."

Jill founded Just Between Us, a magazine designed for encouragement to pastor's wives and women in leadership to maintain a single focus. (Toll Free: 800/260-3342.) Jill quotes a George Barna statistic to the importance of one on one ministry of the pastor's wife to the Western church, "Barna's most recent analysis of church attendance…most Christians listen to Christian radio instead of attend church. As pastor's wives, we have an important role to fill, it's a privilege, not a punishment." Jill also represents World Relief, an organization specializing in disaster and relief efforts, frequently responding to invitations of church leaders from around the world.
Single in focus continues to be Jill and Stuart Briscoe's strength in ministry and marriage. "Stuart and I are together in focus. We are both after the same things," Jill says about the demands of speaking schedules, often in different parts of the world. "We communicate regularly, we don't allow peripheral stuff to distract us from the most important things in our lives. Emotionally, we are very close," she explains. Jill's wisdom for keeping ministry marriages together, "Snatch opportunities to maximize your marriage. When unexpected space appears in your schedule, don't go to your to-do list…go to your marriage. The discipline of filling your time with relational things is a learned habit. It will strengthen your marriage and your ministry." About family life, " Family is the biggest message the pastor can preach." Jill says, "Use the opportunities you have to open your home and welcome the world into your family. Family is the place where ministry happens. Share the love Jesus has given your family with the world"

Jill Briscoe maintains a single focus in life, marriage and ministry, in neighborhoods near and far. Through her far-reaching influence, she impacts both women and men to fall more in love with Jesus and fulfill their single focus.

148 La Mesa Drive, Bakersfield, CA 93305
(661)204-7957 (661)325-6967 FAX(661)325-6968
sheryl@FromAshesToBeauty.com
“From Ashes To Beauty:Healing from the Past, Hope for the Future” Isaiah 61:3